The True FORGIVENESS

The true forgiveness is what God wants from us.

“Bow down thine ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply thine heart unto my knowledge.” Proverbs 22:17 

 “Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!” Matthew 18:7

RECITE: Mt. 6:12

The Doctrine of Theological Reversibility “And do not forgive us our debts, as we have not forgiven our debtors”.References: Colossians 3:13; Prov. 19:11; Colossians 3:8

1. WHAT IS FORGIVENESS? (The true forgiveness)

Forgiveness is an expected act that comes after offences or conflicts. The true forgiveness is the forgiveness that comes genuinely from ones heart in which no evil or reprisal actions will be carried out against the offender in respect to that offence. The true forgiveness comes from within the spirit or soul of a man. And, appreciates and love this kind of forgiveness.

According to Advanced English Dictionary; offence is a lack of politeness; a failure to show regard for others; wounding the feelings or others.

Anger is the feeling that runs or flows in the mind of the person who has been offended (complainant/plaintiff). Anger is never a sin; it has never been a sin and it will not be a sin in this era. What makes anger a sin, is the destructive outcome of it when stretched or harbored for long. A stretched anger is RAGE, sometimes called fist of rage. Eph. 4:26-27; James 1:19-20; Prov. 29:11; Eccl. 7:9; Prov. 15:1 and 18; Psalm 7:11.

FORGIVENESS is the act of excusing a mistake or offense. It plays a vital aspect of our Christian life. Offences are excused, erased, deleted but traces are stored in our memories, so similar occurrences could remind the victim of previous or past occurrences. As far as there are no actions acted as a result of the previous offence, God is happy with that and this is the true forgiveness.

2. HOW MANY TIMES IN A DAY CAN A BROTHER OFFEND ME?

There is no limit to the extent of forgiveness according to the teachings of Christ as recorded in Luke 17:4 “And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.”

Christ taught that forgiveness is a duty that must be performed by His disciples or followers. You cannot change it through eisegesis (self interpretation of the Bible to suit your attitude). “Jesus will not accept that there is any wrong so gross nor so often repeated that it is beyond forgiveness. To Him an unforgiving spirit is one of the most heinous of sins.” (Bruce, Parabolic Teaching, 376ff).

It is a command given by Jesus Himself to every of his disciple. It is a SIN when we ignore, disrespect or disobey this command. Disrespecting this command is disrespecting Jesus Christ. Many times in our lives as Christians or a people, we have disrespected or insulted God by not keeping the command of His only begotten Son, sent to mankind to emancipate us by giving us a new direction of life.

In the secular educational system of peace and conflict resolution, conflict according to Pruitt and Robin, 1986 means “perceived divergence of interest, or a belief that the parties’ current aspirations cannot be achieved simultaneously.” In this definition, the three vital things mentioned were: Interests, aspirations and beliefs.

According to the first exposition of the Church, the local church is made up of brothers and sisters and that the local church is not perfect; this also means that your sister or brother can be offended by your: interests, aspirations and beliefs.

That is, there could be conflict between two or more brethren as a result of their interests, aspirations and beliefs.

These interests, aspirations and beliefs could be over resources, values, mismanagement of information and psychological needs which is a function of perception (intrapersonal, interpersonal and perception of situation/environment).

In a lot of today’s local churches; titled Christians struggle destructively for resources, power, wealth, fame, etc and this attitude have made them to mismanage the information Jesus Christ gave to His Church and their mismanaged attitude as a result of greed has brought into the local church values that were never part of the doctrinal teachings of Jesus regarding the landmarks and these wrong values have become a psychological problem in the local church, that the perception of a lot of Christians is no more directed or aligned to the teachings of Christ but their daddies as they call them. James 4:1-2; Prov.16:32

Christians are people that are gracefully capable to manage, control and overcome intrapersonal conflict; therefore a particular individual Christian will not be offended by his or her own life and should it happen, then, it will not last long as such is overcome prayerfully through the effective study of the words of God. 

The force of offence from the interpersonal conflict; that occurs between two people is stronger than the intrapersonal and this is why we are in today’s seminar. Practise the true forgiveness!

3. “UNTIL SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN”, WHAT DOES IT IMPLY? (Matthew 18:22)

One could have probably consider Peter, as a big heart disciple for extending the limit of forgiveness to seven times because ordinarily, man will it difficult to go the length of three times but from Peter’s point of view; man ordinarily will not go beyond seven times in accepting offences. Probably Peter was trying to link his view with the biblical usage of seven. Study: Lev. 26:21; Deu. 28:25; Psalms 79:12; Prov.24:16; Luke 17:4.

Jesus answer to Peter did not only show that He thought of no limit to one’s forgiveness, but that the principle could not be reduced to a definite formula.

According to Tchr. Happy Ebu’s expository point of view from the prophesy of Daniel of the Seventieth week, the answer of Jesus to Peter as implied, means that the only time one would experience a complete avoidance, forbidding, is when the end of the world is fulfilled. The true forgiveness is the base of our Christian life. 

You may also be interested in Why Must I forgive?  Impulse Offence  CHURCH/CHRISTOLOGICAL FAMILY

HOW DOES THE WORLD DEAL WITH CRISIS?

The world has laid down methods used in the resolution of conflict; the world religions have their laid down methods used and the Church of Christ also has her  own methods or landmarks laid down by Jesus Christ himself for the Christians to follow without any doubt; owing to the truth that his thoughts towards us are good and not evil.

HOW DOES JESUS CHRIST WANTS THE INDIVIDUAL BROTHER TO DEAL WITH OFFENCES?

S/NO	The World’s Methods	Jesus’ Methods: Matthew 18
1	Negotiation: according to Pruitt, “negotiation is a form of decision making in which two or more parties talk with one another in an effort to resolve their opposing interest- a process by which a joint decision is made by two or more parties.”       (Pruitt, 1981: xi-xii). That is, negotiation can also be defined as “Talks between conflicting parties who discuss ideas, information and options in order to reach a mutually acceptable agreement. Initially at least, negotiation may not be face-to-face” (International Alert, 1996, 111:53).	Meet him one on one first without the hearing of a third party.
2	Mediation: according to Schmid, mediation is a “form of conflict management whereby a skilled and /or powerful third party (State, International organization, NGO) acts… to facilitate communication between conflicting parties that consent to the initiative to bring a particular solution or a settlement.”   Mediation is any voluntary, non-building process, even informal, conducted by a neutral third party with the aim of promoting the dispute settlement between the disputing parties. According to Miller, Mediation involves third party intervention, which must operate with considerable neutrality. “The initiative for mediation usually comes from the outsider or from the weaker of the conflicting parties.” (Schmid 2000:54).	If he fails to listen and still continue, go with witnesses, without the hearing of the church eldership.   You are not weak when you initiate mediation.
3	Conciliation: This is another form of alternative dispute resolution. It is defined as “… a process of formulating proposals of settlement after an investigation of facts and an effort to reconcile opposing contentions, the parties to the dispute being left free to accept or respect the proposals formulated.” (Hudson, 19194; 232).   It also points to the individual witness, that the brother took to the offender; that he still has a vital part to play as a councilor. He should prayerfully empty get fact-finding and observation techniques and holy disputes to be resolved. If is funny that that in today’s kind of church world, the witness (conciliator) will even the offender never to see and accept his mistakes. He will be the one to tell the entire local church. He will be the one to tell the local church elders and Jesus never said so. He will be the one to tell all the me3mber, friends and relatives what the conflict or offences.	If he fails to listen and still continues, tell it then to the church and let the church, prayerfully handle the issues and if he fails to listen to the church. Let him be unto thee (You and not the church). You can cut ties with him but not the church, since the offence was personal. Although, personal avoidance may logically correspond in proper cases to excommunication by the church. For instance; a brother in adultery with another brother’s wife and two brothers that had misunderstanding; the both are personal but the former can lead to excommunication by the church.   This Rule is best applied after perseverance and the brother guilty of any crime or offence when he has not met with the brother to tell him his offences/faults/mistakes. Mt. 18:15-22
4	Arbitration: This is simply a legal way of dealing with offences. The magnitude of the offence or conflict matters. Arbitration is the most adopted form of Alternative Dispute Resolution. According to international law commission, arbitration is a “procedure for the settlement of dispute between states by a binding award on the basis of law as a result of an understanding voluntary accepted” (IIYILC, 1953:202).           Arbitration can also be defined as “a generic term for a voluntary process in which people in conflict request the assistance of an impartial and neutral third party contested and neutral third party to make decision for them regarding contested issues.” (Moore, 1996:9)	Note; No Christian brother has any Christen right to condemn, judge, criticize or evaluate any brother to be wicked or non-Christian if there has not being:   ✓     One to one approach ✓     Two or more witnesses approach ✓     eldership approach It is only after these approaches, then, one can evaluate a brother properly and even at this stage, one must not stop praying for the well being (repentance) of the derailed brother.         Let your Light so shine… 1.  Let it shine in the local church family. 2.  Let it shine in the biological family. 3.  Let it shine in your neighborhood. 4.  Let it shine in the society. 5.  Let it shine in the world.

Christianity rest upon the true forgiveness carried by the Lord. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

The true forgiveness is what God wants. The true forgiveness is what builds the church. You cannot love without true forgiveness.

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